Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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