Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Still dying that you shit outside
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
