Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
