ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
