well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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