a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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