Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
