Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize