i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
