Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She's just so happy...and so naked.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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