can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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