i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
