summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Small penises have feelings too.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
