Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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