Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
