White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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