we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
