dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Shame is for Republicans.
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