Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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