Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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