I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
