wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
