I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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