she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
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