I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm determined to sit on that face.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
