i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
