Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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