It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
