He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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