the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
How's work?
Spinning.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
