I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
