it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Randomize
