Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
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