did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
