Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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