Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
