i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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