I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
