Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
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