do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize