You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
of course. lets lasso hookers.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
