I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
