we have pet lesbian snakes
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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