please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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