I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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