The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
