AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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