I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
