News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
