Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
