Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
