Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
