Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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