Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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