Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
