I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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