I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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