I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
