At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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