I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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