New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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