just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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