Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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