Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
