Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
