ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
