im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i love accidental penises.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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