You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
